I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
