Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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