I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
