If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh god it's open bar.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
