I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
