just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
