worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
