well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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