Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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