What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
