playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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