Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
