4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
