Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
