just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
