i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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