He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
