Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize