There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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