so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
