I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
