my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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