I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
