Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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