And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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