If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
