GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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