hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
