Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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