Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
