haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
