Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
