make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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