Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
