It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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