just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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