some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
