Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
my liver is dry heaving
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
