have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
