Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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