I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
