So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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