i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
