Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
