I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
nut hugger
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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