i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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