At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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