he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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