fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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