I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
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