and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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