Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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