I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize