I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've blown a few things in my day
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
