Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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