Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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