my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
