hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
