We're facebook friends in real life
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
