Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I will be naked everywhere
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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