There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
