I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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