i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
