I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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