he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
You did what with his pubic hair?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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